Self-Care: A Story of Neglecting Personal Care

Happy Thursday, everyone, and happy Thanksgiving to my American readers! Today I want to focus on a very personal matter which has greatly affected my life lately: self-care. Writers and other artists are notorious perfectionists with a tendency to work themselves to the bone. While such dedication means we produce top-notch work, it also means that we don’t do a lot to take care of ourselves. Neglecting ourselves for our work might seem like a worthwhile sacrifice at first–after all, we are trying to build our careers and build better lives for ourselves–but it is the worst move we could possibly make as freelancers.

I’m going to tell you a little story. I’m a perfectionist obsessed with always doing my best and pleasing everyone but myself. It’s how I’ve been for as long as I can remember. For most of my formative years, this didn’t cause too many problems. Yes, I was incredibly shy and had stage fright. However, I was studious, had near-perfect grades, and had a bright future ahead of me. I was the good, polite, overachieving child that every parent wants–unless you want an athletic kid. That was never going to happen. (I trip over myself for no reason, bruise by just looking at something, and hit my head far more often than I’d like to admit.)

Then came my senior year of high school. I was all set to overachieve once again, but guess what? It’s a hell of a lot harder to keep up with over-achievement by that stage in one’s academic career. I was senior editor for the school yearbook, staff liaison and secretary for the student government, and my high school’s liaison to the school board and the city counsel. In addition to the required history and English classes, I took drama, leadership, yearbook, AP calculus, and zero-period (meaning more than an hour before the rest of school started) physics. That’s not to mention that the AP calculus and physics classes were shared with another school in our district, so I had to go to that school for zero and first period and then go to my high school for the rest of the day. On top of all that, there was a lot of family drama at home that stressed out everyone.

Needless to say, I didn’t have time for self-care. I was miserable. I had a meltdown in the bathroom after a decent presentation. I was sick most days and kept having horrible back pain. I threw up constantly and could hardly eat, quickly developing a stomach condition for which I still have take medication to this day. Honestly, my mind started blocking out most of the year from my memory almost immediately. Even now I can only remember bits and pieces and feeling as though I let everyone down.

I graduated top of my class, was valedictorian, and heard about my teachers still gushing over me for a couple of years after I went off to university, but my health and mental state suffered. I had no concept of self-care, and I paid for it.

Surely after all of that I learned to pay more attention to self-care, right? After all, my senior year resulted in me having numerous stress-induced medical conditions, being a permanent bundle of anxiety and nerves, and (unjustifiably) feeling too embarrassed to visit my high school whenever I returned to my hometown. I must have learned the importance of self-care.

Apparently, I don’t learn well from my mistakes.

For the past few months, I have been involved in a project I hate ghostwriting stories I hate for a price which isn’t even a tenth of what it should be. The client has been nice enough and understanding about the need for flexible deadlines, but it’s been too much work for too little pay. I’ve burned myself out. For the past several days, I have had a relapse in my stress-induced stomach condition that has caused severe intestinal issues and vomiting. Additionally, I have also had stress- and dehydration-induced migraines that aggravated the stomach problems. Only now I am realizing how much I need to focus on self-care and putting my personal needs over this underpaying project.

The point of my story is this: don’t be like me. Put yourself first. Don’t settle. Ask for a fair rate and if they can’t afford it or just won’t give it to you, don’t stay only for the “experience” or because you think that even a little money can help. You might be able to pad your pockets for a while but in the long run, it’ll just ruin you for other, better-paying projects. Whether you’re just starting or you’re a seasoned veteran, it’s important for your health and sanity for you to take on projects that you are excited about and which will pay you fairly.

Most importantly, pay attention to self-care. It is so easy to forget to exercise, eat right, and make time for yourself when you work a regular nine-to-five job; when you write, freelance, and/or work from home, it’s almost impossible to fit self-care into your schedule. The line between your personal life and your business blurs beyond recognition. However, if you don’t take care of yourself, you will suffer and so will your work ethic. You are your most valuable asset.

What has been your experience with self-care as a writer? Have you ever reached rock-bottom from too much work? Any advice to keep this from happening to others? Leave your thoughts and words of wisdom in the comments below!