Category: Support

Happy October, readers and writers. It has been quite a long time since I’ve updated this blog. I’ve been neck-deep in work, including a few projects that I can’t talk about just yet. Rest assured, though, that they are fairly interesting, two of them being editing jobs for other writers and one involving some writing of my own. (I know, it’s hard to believe!) Unfortunately, it’s not just been good news that’s kept me out of commission since I last posted here. Heck, it’s not even the biggest reason. Rather, the most prominent reason for my absence is something I’ve discussed many times before: depression and anxiety.

I almost didn’t put this post up. For more than a week, I constantly came to it, wrote it, rewrote it, edited it, and left it, wondering if I should just ditch it for one of my typical “mea culpa” kind of updates. I kept asking myself if anyone would really care to hear about my depression and anxiety, if it’s something I should really discuss in this depth. Why drive it into the ground when I’ve talked about it before?

I know, though, that there are people who read this blog who do not feel that they can talk to anyone about their mental illness. They worry that they’ll be seen as incompetent, lazy, less of a person, even crazy. If anyone connected to work found out, they could miss out on promotions, much-needed overtime, new gigs or contracts, or lose their job altogether. Worse yet, what if people thought they were lying to get out of something or for the attention?

These are the people who need to see someone else talk openly about depression, anxiety, and other mental illness. Someone like me. They might be a regular reader or they might have just come across this one post by random, but if I can help someone else start to talk by discussing my own problems, then it’s worth whatever other people will think of me. Considering last week was #MentalHealthAwarenessWeek, it seems appropriate that I finally get around to letting you all know more of what’s going on with me.

I’ve made it no secret that I suffer from depression and anxiety. Why hide it? Like I’ve said in previous posts, depression and other mental illness are not uncommon among writers and other artists. It almost seems to be a prerequisite. That’s why it makes no sense for us to suffer through it alone. We already expect it of each other, why don’t we just own up to it and work through it together?

It’s not always so obvious to tell when someone’s struggling because mental illness doesn’t manifest in everyone the same way nor is it present 24/7. There are times when I am happy, when I can laugh, when I can feel, when I am just like everybody else, but there are also many, many times when thoughts creep in, especially when I’m alone, that other people would be disturbed by. I know I get disturbed by them if I look back on them in my better moments.

These thoughts are self-deprecating, needlessly guilt-ridden, and make me feel down, hopeless, and, often, worthless. I have to force myself to do even the things I enjoy and normally want to do. My fear of not completing projects sustains me through my work, and my fear of falling short of my own standards maintains the quality. Regardless, every little thing feels like dragging myself through quicksand while carrying fifty-pound weights. I have panic attacks, cry for no reason, and want crawl into a dark hole and never come out. No matter how often people praise me, something tells me that I’m no good. If I’m proud of myself for something, it usually doesn’t take long for that part of me to start saying that it doesn’t matter, that no one cares, that I need to stop because I’ll get a big head and get sloppy.

Suffice to say, it has gotten worse lately, to the point that I’ve had to admit it to my mother, the one person who knows when something’s going on with me. Of course, she could already tell that something was up. I’ve talked about it with my doctor, and we are adjusting my medication while I also look into a counselor.

While I’m doing better now, each day is still a struggle. Hopefully you’ll be hearing from me more often. There will be at least one more post this week about a recent release from a new author. I also have some articles and books that I’d love to share with you, so watch for more updates! I might even be able to share that news about one of my own short stories soon.

And please, if you’re wrestling with any issues from depression or other mental illnesses, seek help. I know how hard it is. For all that I say about mental illness, it took me a while to reveal how bad things had gotten. I was embarrassed and afraid and didn’t want anyone to worry about me. Trust me, I know how hard it is to work up the nerve, but please do. That is the only way you will get better.

And if you suspect that someone you know is going through a hard time, don’t wait for them to reach out first; check in on them. If nothing else, they will want to see that you care enough to ask if they are OK.

For a thorough list of mental health resources, including the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline and the Crisis Text Line, please go to the National Institute of Mental Health.

Let me start by saying that, for the most part, I have had a pretty positive experience on Fiverr. I’ve made some good connections with repeat clients, I’ve built up my portfolio some, and I’ve only run into one problem while getting my money from them. However, after almost two years on the platform, I’ve learned quite a lot about not only Fiverr but freelance writing and editing in general. Mostly, I’ve learned what not do.

I’ve learned to not take on projects you’re not excited about, especially ones which flat out conflict with your values and interests. I’ve learned that however long you think it will take you to complete a project, you should multiply that number by at least 1.5 and use that as your timeline. I’ve learned that sometimes you just have to put your well-being before making money, especially if you’re stressed or are having health issues. Most importantly, though, I have learned that you should not price your freelance services too low, no matter what the client might try to convince you is the “right” or “fair” price. Trust your own research when it comes to pricing, not theirs.

The problem is that the experience writers–and other creative freelancers–have on Fiverr directly contradicts some of the most important lessons of freelancing, especially pricing. It’s just not built to accommodate career freelance writers, editors, artists, graphic designers, etc., if they want to be paid what’s considered fair in their respective industries.

In particular, there are five prominent ways in which Fiverr lets down freelance writers:

1. Fixed rates only. Freelance writers and editors both usually rate their services per word, per page, per hour. Fiverr has none of these options. Instead, you must somehow figure out a way to price your services using a fixed rate. The three package options can help to a degree by allowing you to have different prices based on word count or something similar, but there’s no way to work per hour or by the exact word or page count. You could end up writing 1,000 words for the same price as 100 if you can’t find the right way to group the packages.
2. Buyers expect scab wages. Not all buyers on Fiverr are like this. Most of my Fiverr customers have been fairly reasonable about following industry standards rather than “Fiverr standards”. Still, a good number of them expect you to work for what would be pennies compared to those offering their services on a platform other than Fiverr. They think that just because you’re getting work through Fiverr, you should work for significantly less than the average writer. I had an experience with this very recently. I had been ghostwriting for someone on Fiverr at a rate of $250 per book, which was then raised to $300 per book as it went from novelization of a screenplay to writing a novel based on an outline. When I had first agreed to this, I didn’t know what was considered fair pricing for ghostwriting in the writing/publishing industry. I eventually learned the truth while researching a post for this blog on ghostwriting. According to a guide from Writer’s Market, I should’ve been charging at least $25/hour. Huffington Post says that anyone charging under $15,000 per project for ghostwriting books is either really new and looking to build their portfolio or very low quality, even suspicious or a scam. This Fiverr buyer was only paying me at best one-tenth of what I should have been paid, and that isn’t including the work for supplemental research and revisions I put in. When I told him that he either had to accommodate a raise to the entry-level rate of $25/hour or we’d have to part ways, he essentially said we’d have to part ways and questioned this new rate for no reason other than the fact that my services are provided through Fiverr. This is someone who had been very happy with my work before, and yet he thought that I shouldn’t charge the industry standard solely because of the platform; my effort and skills meant nothing when it came to price. Perhaps if we had connected elsewhere he would have thought this rate was fair, or he might have just tried to force me into something much lower anyway. The difference is that on Fiverr, it’s more acceptable to expect unfairly low prices.
3. There’s a maximum amount for custom offers based on seller level. Services like writing, editing, graphic design, commissioned art, website design, etc. are high-paying for a reason. We are experts in highly-specialized fields that require a combination of education in that field and natural talent. Even the cheapest of fair rates aren’t going to be what the average person considers “cheap”, not even if they “just” freelance. That’s why it’s so easy for people in those fields to get ripped off when working through a platform like Fiverr. One of the biggest issues is that there is a maximum amount which you can charge for custom offers–which are much easier to work with than flat-out orders–based on your seller level. For new sellers and level one sellers, that maximum is $5,000. For level two and top sellers, it’s $10,000. If you charge the lowest of the acceptable rates in the writing/publishing industry, this might not be a problem. If you have any experience and self-worth, though, it’ll be a challenge to get your fair pay all in one order for anything longer than, say, articles or novellas.
4. The already-low rates get cut by 20%. Fiverr takes a 20% cut of every order as a fee for using their site. Normally, this wouldn’t be a problem. After all, they have to make money somehow. However, the rates are low enough that 20% can feel like a sizeable slice, especially in comparison to places like Guru, which only takes about 8.95% as a transaction fee.
5. Harder to show your portfolio. Let’s face it, no one wants to hire a writer or editor if they don’t have a good sense of their work. The most highly-respected examples are usually those which have been published, and the best way to show them off is to provide a link to where they can be purchased or your own site. Fiverr, however, loves to flag any external link as a problem. There are options to show off your work if your freelance work is more visual, such as graphic design and painting. You can just upload an image to the related gig. For writers, though, it doesn’t work that way. You can upload a PDF of sample work and hope that the potential customers will have PDF readers available, but there are no options to upload a Word doc or anything like that. That means the portfolio options for writers and editors are limited. No portfolio, fewer jobs, less money.

Fiverr is not necessarily a bad site. You can optimize it by offering services you can do very quickly for low prices. For example, I’ve had a fair amount of success with my one-liner gig and writing/editing short online articles. Even beta reading and query writing has gone well for me on there.

However, it is a horrible place to offer larger freelance services. I do not recommend offering writing or editing services for anything larger than novellas on Fiverr. Instead, the best move you can make is to create your own website where you can have a portfolio and links to your work, post reviews from former clients, and set your own rates in any format that you like. WordPress and Blogger are probably the best places to consider if you’re new to website building and/or don’t have a lot of money to spend on it. Another safe move would be to consider places like Guru, iFreelance, Freelancer, and Reedsy (if you’re experienced enough). I haven’t tried out these sites fully yet so I cannot recommend one in particular, but they are consistently offered as good sites for writers, editors, and other freelancers to offer their services.

Have you had experience as a seller of freelance writing/editing services on Fiverr? Was it positive or negative? Do you think writers and editors should offer novel-sized services on there long-term? Or is it better as a gateway for making some contacts and potential client relationships? Leave your thoughts in the comments below!

Happy Thursday, everyone, and happy Thanksgiving to my American readers! Today I want to focus on a very personal matter which has greatly affected my life lately: self-care. Writers and other artists are notorious perfectionists with a tendency to work themselves to the bone. While such dedication means we produce top-notch work, it also means that we don’t do a lot to take care of ourselves. Neglecting ourselves for our work might seem like a worthwhile sacrifice at first–after all, we are trying to build our careers and build better lives for ourselves–but it is the worst move we could possibly make as freelancers.

I’m going to tell you a little story. I’m a perfectionist obsessed with always doing my best and pleasing everyone but myself. It’s how I’ve been for as long as I can remember. For most of my formative years, this didn’t cause too many problems. Yes, I was incredibly shy and had stage fright. However, I was studious, had near-perfect grades, and had a bright future ahead of me. I was the good, polite, overachieving child that every parent wants–unless you want an athletic kid. That was never going to happen. (I trip over myself for no reason, bruise by just looking at something, and hit my head far more often than I’d like to admit.)

Then came my senior year of high school. I was all set to overachieve once again, but guess what? It’s a hell of a lot harder to keep up with over-achievement by that stage in one’s academic career. I was senior editor for the school yearbook, staff liaison and secretary for the student government, and my high school’s liaison to the school board and the city counsel. In addition to the required history and English classes, I took drama, leadership, yearbook, AP calculus, and zero-period (meaning more than an hour before the rest of school started) physics. That’s not to mention that the AP calculus and physics classes were shared with another school in our district, so I had to go to that school for zero and first period and then go to my high school for the rest of the day. On top of all that, there was a lot of family drama at home that stressed out everyone.

Needless to say, I didn’t have time for self-care. I was miserable. I had a meltdown in the bathroom after a decent presentation. I was sick most days and kept having horrible back pain. I threw up constantly and could hardly eat, quickly developing a stomach condition for which I still have take medication to this day. Honestly, my mind started blocking out most of the year from my memory almost immediately. Even now I can only remember bits and pieces and feeling as though I let everyone down.

I graduated top of my class, was valedictorian, and heard about my teachers still gushing over me for a couple of years after I went off to university, but my health and mental state suffered. I had no concept of self-care, and I paid for it.

Surely after all of that I learned to pay more attention to self-care, right? After all, my senior year resulted in me having numerous stress-induced medical conditions, being a permanent bundle of anxiety and nerves, and (unjustifiably) feeling too embarrassed to visit my high school whenever I returned to my hometown. I must have learned the importance of self-care.

Apparently, I don’t learn well from my mistakes.

For the past few months, I have been involved in a project I hate ghostwriting stories I hate for a price which isn’t even a tenth of what it should be. The client has been nice enough and understanding about the need for flexible deadlines, but it’s been too much work for too little pay. I’ve burned myself out. For the past several days, I have had a relapse in my stress-induced stomach condition that has caused severe intestinal issues and vomiting. Additionally, I have also had stress- and dehydration-induced migraines that aggravated the stomach problems. Only now I am realizing how much I need to focus on self-care and putting my personal needs over this underpaying project.

The point of my story is this: don’t be like me. Put yourself first. Don’t settle. Ask for a fair rate and if they can’t afford it or just won’t give it to you, don’t stay only for the “experience” or because you think that even a little money can help. You might be able to pad your pockets for a while but in the long run, it’ll just ruin you for other, better-paying projects. Whether you’re just starting or you’re a seasoned veteran, it’s important for your health and sanity for you to take on projects that you are excited about and which will pay you fairly.

Most importantly, pay attention to self-care. It is so easy to forget to exercise, eat right, and make time for yourself when you work a regular nine-to-five job; when you write, freelance, and/or work from home, it’s almost impossible to fit self-care into your schedule. The line between your personal life and your business blurs beyond recognition. However, if you don’t take care of yourself, you will suffer and so will your work ethic. You are your most valuable asset.

What has been your experience with self-care as a writer? Have you ever reached rock-bottom from too much work? Any advice to keep this from happening to others? Leave your thoughts and words of wisdom in the comments below!